It frightens me that when I think of my ideal future, I think of things. Material things. Of a summer home along a lake side. Of tags that read Brooks Brothers and J. Crew. Of that ring sitting gently on my finger of my left hand. Of driving to soccer practice in a Range Rover. Of shopping for groceries at Whole Foods. I sometimes think of you, whoever you are. But then my mind flashes to images of our wedding day…of more things. Dresses, napkins, rings, champagne. Of course, I obviously think of the love and the romance. But why are these tangible things my focus? Why is this lifestyle all that I want? Why does it matter so much? Why do I assume this will make me happy?
I guess because it has to be perfect. I have to be perfect. The life I have imagined for myself will happen, and it will not be anything less than perfect. Perfect.
